I know this sounds really bad, but I do.
Just to be clear on this, I wasn't into hard drugs. I smoked the occasional joint and mainlined ephedrine and codeine.
The one I miss is ephedrine.
Its a class 6 drug here in SA and can only be purchased with a docs prescription. I'm not going to a doctor for that. I need to make some connections to see where I can find some.
See, the reason I miss it, was that it gave me energy.
I was able to stay up for days at a time, giving me time to do what I had to do - be it write, work, housework or just partying.
Now, I rely on instant coffee, but the kick is more of a light tap to my brain. By 3pm everyday, I'm exhausted. I don't like being tired. It makes my depressed and I don't do depressed well.
Last night I played action cricket with my company and then shot off to ballroom dancing lessons.
Today, my ass muscles are so sore, I don't want to move from my desk. Driving is painful (I drive stick shift) and the current torrents of rain turns everyone on the road into morons.
I'd rathe rbe home, sleeping on my couch while listening to K's Choice with my cat curled up on my stomach. *nods*